howeverbrief: (Winter)
I should post about Thanksgiving (which I still might do), but work has been really draining lately (for reasons I don't feel like rehashing right now). This is what I'm choosing to post about instead.

I dreamed last night that I was at a birthday party for tabular-rasa. I didn't know which room to go to in her very large house, and as I walked into a large room, a few servants closed the doors behind me. I rushed back to the doors when I figured out this wasn't the room where the party was, but they told me they couldn't let me out because of the special guest.

I went to the bar to order a drink and wait to be let out. As I was sitting there, Donald Trump sidled up to the bar, sat next to me and started talking to me. I thought, "Well, I'm attractive enough for him to talk to me but not for him to touch me," and I felt weirdly flattered and disgusted at the same time. I got out of there as quickly as I could.

I finally found the room where the party was, and my mom was there too. Amy was opening presents, and I grabbed one and opened it. I turned back to her and said, "I don't know why I did that. Sorry." I handed the gift to her, which was a large plastic light saber. She took a look at it and noticed that when I opened the present, I broke a connecting wire on the light saber. She started explaining that the connecting wire I broke was used to hook up the light saber to her phone and now it was broken and... In my shame, I didn't want to hear the rest of it. I cut her off and said I was going home with my mom.

We tried to leave through a nearby sliding glass door, but once we were on the deck, I found that half the stairs leading down were gone. We were forced to go back inside, where more of Amy's family/spillover guests from Trump's party were gathering. I tried to get Amy's attention so we could leave another way, but she was pissed at me still and distracted by everyone.

Then my stupid alarm went off.

This is the second time I've dreamed about Trump since the day of the election. At least he didn't chase me this time (but I did win the presidency in that one, so it's a wash).
howeverbrief: (Temp)
Hello, we have returned. We got back from Iceland at midnight Wednesday actually, but since there's a seven-hour time difference (and Mike's been sick on top of it with a cold he got in the last days we were there), we've both been struggling to get back to some kind of normal in the past four days. I always tend to forget just how disorienting and weird jet-lag is until I experience it again. It was especially jarring waking up that first night and seeing Icelandic mountains in my bedroom instead of knowing where I was, but it gets better day by day. Soon we won't notice it at all.

It has been somewhat bittersweet being back. While there were definitely some fiascos, really the trip as a whole was very nice and different from anything we've experienced so far. I plan on going into details about the trip soon, but for now I'm mostly trying not to be bummed out about having to go back to work. I'm pretty sure this is the longest time in the five and a half years I've worked for the state that I've been away (not counting surgeries, but even then, maybe not), and it feels very surreal. Usually I'm more than ready to get back and buckle down into work, but this has been more of a break, I suppose.

I think part of it is the very real prospect of session starting again in February, and I have no more set time off between now and then. Well, that and needing to get some house repairs done before session comes (and hopefully succeeding in that because winter's coming up fairly quickly and I feel like we're running out of time again). I'm also not sure what's going to happen in the next year (or really what I even want to happen in the next year), so that's kind of terrifying. So it goes, the never-ending song of the sort-of adult I am, I guess. I'd much rather be in Iceland, where our only care at night was planning the next day's driving and wondering if the shower was going to be quite as bad as the previous place we stayed at, but I digress. It's okay. If not, it's going to be okay.

Anyway, Iceland posts coming soon.
howeverbrief: (Skull)
I moved into an apartment where my ex and his brother lived. I knew I'd have to try to figure out how to get along with my ex, so I tried to reach out to him and invite him into my room. He declined, and I felt that it was a good sign because I didn't really want to get back together. I went out and watched TV with his brother while waiting for a ride to the new school I had to register at.

A big computerized display was in the background that listed mentors for each of the people in the apartment, all of which happened to be Indian. They were ranked by how well each of their charges were doing in school. I was excited because I knew I would do well in school, but I felt bad for whoever was at the bottom of the list because he had a red flashing zero or negative number next to his name. I wondered who this mentor's student was but went back to watching TV.

For some reason, there kept being a delay for my ride to school, and there was always an excuse as to why I couldn't go to school just yet. I went into the kitchen and put a bowl of food in the microwave. Before the timer went off, I opened the microwave to see if it was done, and it was very close. I put it back in for the rest of the time left and turned to look into the other room. When I turned back, it had caught on fire.

In the race to find a fire extinguisher, I had multiple arguments with my ex because he thought I should just let the fire burn and was trying to prevent me from finding the fire extinguisher. By the time I found one, I wasn't sure if it would work, and my clock radio alarm was going off.

What's that all about?
howeverbrief: (Ink)
I had a dream a few nights ago that I interviewed for a promotion at my work. They told me I got the job, so I was super excited. I went into my new larger office and had no idea really what to do. I sat at my desk and shuffled papers around trying to figure it out. I left my office for a minute, and when I returned, my friend [livejournal.com profile] verypretty was sitting at my desk and doing the work like a champ. I was told I had actually been demoted and was now her assistant. The next day she turned into my old boss, and the office turned into my current office, and I wanted to go back home and cry.

(My old boss is great. My friend Aurora is great. Dream world is just weird, demoralizing and manifesting my imposter syndrome that crops up every now and then. Booooo.)

Work has been pretty dull lately. My brain has a lot of time to wander, and it's not always to good places. I found myself sleepily giving myself a pep talk the other day about, "Hey, what if you actually took the time and gave it your all to writing? What if you looked over some of the short stories you started back in college and actually tried to make them into something?"

It was enough to wake me up in that moment, but knowing me, I won't actually do that. It's funny it came up at all, really, since I don't tend to like writing fiction much anymore. I liked the creative writing classes I took, but nothing really seemed to stick in terms of lasting passion. If I write fiction at all these days, it's in the form of poetry because I find I like telling really small stories and stringing together pieces and phrases rather than writing long form. I would still like to write a non-fiction book (and have several ideas for research projects), but I don't know. I'd like to think that this is just my aesthetic, but really, it's probably more of a convenient excuse because I'm impatient and don't want to devote the time I would need to make it happen. There are a million different distractions and only so much time and blah blah blah. So it goes, I guess.

I have figured out I can take notes on my phone, though, so I've been doing that instead of writing all over post-its and hoping I don't lose them. (Yes, I know. Welcome to the 21st century.) We'll see if anything comes from it.

EDIT: Wait, hold up. This is better than everything I just said.
howeverbrief: (Skull)
Kung-fu fighting? )

Speaking of exes, I got this message on new year's eve: "With all the crap that's happened this year I want to say that I am sorry for the way that I treated you and acted around you. I was an insensitive asshole and it was a wonder that you were ever friends with me. That being said I want to thank you for all the years that we were friends and apologize for the years we were not because it was my fault! I hope you have a great 2016"

That would be from Thomas Warner, who I hadn't heard from since his grandmother, the only reason I knew him in the first place, died last April. Weird stuff. I didn't respond.

Not speaking of exes, we took Kiki to the vet yesterday because she's been sneezing for weeks now and getting it all over everything we own (plus we are still concerned and all, haha). The doctor gave Kiki another shot, her third since last August, as well as some information about a CT scan because she's still concerned she might have a nasal tumor and that would be the best way to figure out if she does, though they might take it and still not be able to see it. We're on the fence about it. On one hand, I'd like to know if she has cancer. On the other, it's an estimated $500-$1000 test, and every time they've given her this shot, she's gotten better for a while. Just hard to be on the roller coaster of not knowing, and since Kiki favors Mike, I'd hope he wouldn't have to go through the same deal he went through with his cat, Katie. Time will tell I guess. New to this appointment, they found she had a swollen lymph node in her leg that could be due to inflammation or cancer as well, so that's fun. This is not counting in Olive, who we haven't gotten a senior screen for but should because she's reabsorbing a tooth and should probably get dental work but they don't know if that would kill her in the process because of her age. Sigh.

And we're considering children at some point?!

This weekend has been pretty low-key otherwise. Usual chores and such. We also went to brunch today for an early celebration for my dad's birthday, which was nice, no drama, and tasty. Otherwise, my head is in a weird place, but at least I also have the day off tomorrow. Not much else to report now, I suppose.
howeverbrief: (Smile)
I've been having a lot of jacked up dreams lately, most of which I mercifully don't remember. This one, though, I did. Dreams are dumb )

We had a very nice visit in Utah.Farewell Riley )

This week hasn't been too strenuous. I worked for three days then had yesterday off so I could go with Mike to his follow-up appointment for his ankle. His doctor said he could start putting weight on his foot again, but to do so gradually so he can get used to it again after not being on it for eight weeks. He is still using his crutches to get around, but at least he can now put both feet on the ground and move forward. I think that makes things much easier to deal with. After we got home, I finished a blanket I started the week I broke my own foot, so I guess that's kind of fitting. Hopefully going forward won't involve any more broken feet, but we'll see what the future holds.

Other than that, got a new dishwasher today (because I've hated the way ours doesn't clean our dishes for quite a while now) and custom framed Mike's anniversary gift (a printout on cloth of our vows). We also finally got to try Peg's Glorious Ham 'n Eggs, which opened in our town a few weeks ago, and bought some groceries. Pretty successful overall, I think. Mike goes to Livermore tomorrow, and then it's time for another week. So it goes.

Ongoing

Jul. 6th, 2015 10:31 pm
howeverbrief: (Skull)
I had a dream the other night that I woke up and fell going down stairs in slow motion. In a daze, I heard the front door rattling. As I crawled toward it, a strange man broke the lock and started walking through the door. I tried shouting at him to get out and asking why he was there, but my voice was too weak and sleepy. Then I woke up.

I've been sleeping pretty badly. Don't know why. My dad put up the curtain rod in the master bedroom weekend before last, and my mom kindly hemmed the curtains we found online (because no one in this town sells the exact size we need, of course). Apparently, I just get to wake up at 5ish most mornings regardless. Well, if I'm lucky it's only one time a night. Next on the "try" board is reducing the dose of OTC allergy medicine I take, drinking less water before bed, praying to the voodoo gods, sacrificing a goat... Okay, only some of those. Maybe I'll figure out what the heck is going on soon. Probably not.

The 4th of July was pretty nice-- just hung out in Reno with my sister, her friend from work, my brother, my mom and Mike. We ate too much, played Uno early in the afternoon then Cards Against Humanity later while waiting for fireworks. My mom sat at the table and listened during that game, which was awkward at times, especially when one of the answers ended up being "The primal ball-slapping sex your parents are having this second." (I think my sister played that on my brother, which kind of makes it worse. He also didn't appreciate being played the "Motherfucking Sorcerer" card either and refused to read it out loud. Hahaha.) She said something like, "I can see how this game could be fun." Oh, sorry, Mom. Oh well.

Ah, not much else happening. I need to train people again tomorrow, which I'm not looking forward to but will be fairly easy. Past Fiona did most of the work for me already, and I just have to do the talking and explaining part now. Meh.

BUT we just have to make it to Friday. We're leaving for Vermont early Saturday, and that'll be nice. Just have to make it to the other coast and semi-isolated cabin in the woods and yes.

Okay. My stomach is having a full on hatefest at the moment, which has interrupted this post several times already, so I'll stop here for now.
howeverbrief: (Ink)
I had a dream that I was back in college and dating Chris again, only I figured out later I'm married and felt really bad about it. My dream self then decided to debate who was the best out of him, Austin and Mike, and of course, Mike came out on top for several reasons, which made me feel even worse for kissing and having feelings for someone behind his back.

I woke up alone. Of course. Mike's in Livermore.

I realized today that it's been close to if not exactly ten years since I've seen Chris. If I felt like digging, I could figure out the precise day, but it doesn't really matter. As far as I know, he's long gone from here. Not too many months after that, I started up with Austin, and that relationship remains the longest I've ever been in, but not for too much longer. (May of next year will crush that record if you're curious.) Austin lives closer to me, but I haven't seen him in maybe four and a half years? Just after I started working here but before I moved, I think.

I've known Very Pretty for almost fourteen years. (How's that for weird, eh college roommate?) Certain other friends have come and gone in that period. Before her, my longest friendship lasted twelve years before I severed ties. Most of the people I grew up with I either don't talk to or don't know anymore outside of facebook, and that's okay.

Recently, I've been downsizing my friend's list there. I had a strong reaction to seeing pictures of someone I went on one pseudo date with after breaking up with Austin which didn't go anywhere because he had some derogatory things to say about gay people at the end of it. I literally know more about him through his facebook than I do from the time I spent in real life with him, and I decided I didn't care at all about him. Then I looked around and decided I didn't care about a lot of people, and suddenly I was below 120 friends on facebook.

I've probably spent a little too much time thinking about how social contacts used to work. I seem to recall in pre-internet times being able to entirely fall out of touch with someone over the course of your life, to the point where you hardly (if ever) think about them if they didn't mean anything to you. Also, it was a lot harder to look someone up if you ever had a passing whim about them, let alone a search engine at your fingertips begging you to find out, hey, that person lives this sort of life now! Isn't that interesting and not at all ultimately useless? Perhaps this sounds cruel and weird of me, but I've been feeling like that antiquated process would be preferable to the many slow deaths of relationships you experience over social media--people ghosting out of your life instead of reminding you every once in a while what they ate for dinner and how much you've both changed and disagree now. Lives coming together then drifting apart. The same old story told by different players.

I guess I'm mostly tired of caring about people who wouldn't notice if I suddenly disappeared. Yeah, I guess that makes me an asshole.

My dad was here yesterday and looked at one of the paintings I have on my wall. He said it was amazing because my Uncle John painted one almost exactly like it, down to the circles and color scheme. My mom said I was my uncle's niece. I wish I could have gotten to know him as an adult. He's been gone for fourteen years. I miss him.

But here we are, and time is short. It seems to be getting shorter all the time.

Blackmail

Nov. 12th, 2014 10:19 pm
howeverbrief: (Temp)
Last night I dreamed I married one of my "fake" cousins (a granddaughter of our babysitters, who we considered our grandparents too growing up). I pissed her off somehow, and I ended up in a restaurant with her, her brother and her cousin. They told me that the only way she'd stop being mad at me is if I gave them money for their start-up. They forgot I was there for a little bit and explained why their plan would totally work because I'm a pushover. They also talked about what their start-up was, but now I don't remember.

I stormed out of the restaurant and was adamant that I wasn't going to pay them off, but I was also sad that my marriage was going so badly, that I'd had such poor judgment and that I'd probably have to get a divorce or keep being emotionally blackmailed if I didn't give them money.

That woke me up way before my alarm went off. Yeah, I don't know either.
howeverbrief: (Temp)
I had a dream I was moving to a different state. My adoptive grandparents were moving me and my siblings. While I was packing up, I got the feeling that I had manipulated my siblings, my older sister Katie especially, into giving me clothes that didn't belong to me. One of the sets of clothes was for a baby, and I knew both my sisters were angry at me for that and weren't going to talk to me when we got to the new place. The new house looked almost exactly like the house I grew up in, only it had lighter wood and other details that were slightly off. I never saw anyone else and woke up sad that I'd manipulated Katie, though I haven't seen her since Christmas.

I am getting more nervous about surgery. It seems harder to push through these feelings of illness the closer it gets. I always seem to put off thinking about these things until they are right in front of me, and it's a lot more real now. I'm also not looking forward to work tomorrow though I'm leaving early for physical therapy. It won't be that hard to begin with. I don't know. It's fine, though. It'll be fine.
howeverbrief: (Ink)
So last night, I had a dream I had a baby, only I was the dad. I was holding my new baby, and while his mother was getting ready for church (which we were late for), I not only couldn't find anything to change his diaper, I also couldn't convince her that we needed a car seat to take the baby in the car. Somehow, I was the stereotypical, clueless dad, and I was fairly sure our kid was going to get damaged somehow.

I also dreamed I was in a shopping mall. While there, I heard an advertisement about "jelly clips" and how they help teenagers' social lives. A teenaged girl happened to be walking by, and she was fretting over what to do about prom. I steered her toward the clips in this store, and when she thanked me, I told her not to because all I had done was listen to an ad.

After that, I went toward the bathrooms, and a woman with her young child approached me and talked about how she needed to feed her child. I was friends with this woman in the dream, and when we went in the bathroom, there was a cat there that was a combination of Olive and Squeaky who I called Kiki (thereby making a mix of all three major cats I've had in my life) hanging out on the changing table who hissed at us. I went in another room and somehow ended up in space, where actual Kiki was sleeping on top of the world, and a narrator said something like, "And that's how Kiki gets her reward."

Whatever. This is the same cat who in real life likes to shit on the rug to get attention though her litter box is cleaned very regularly. Ugh.

We got to go to my friend Aurora's kid's second birthday party today. It was pretty fun, different from last year because I think Ayla was a bit more aware of what was happening. Very cute. She is so big, it's ridiculous. Hard to believe that she was born not too long after Mike and I met, and Mike and I went to her first birthday party last year. Sheesh.

Since it is Aries birthday season, we also went to sushi afterward to celebrate Mike's birthday early. We had originally planned on going up to Tahoe tomorrow to a different sushi place, but Mike decided he wanted a day to just veg at home this weekend, which suits me just fine. I'd do anything he wants, but I admit I'm glad to have a day a little closer to home, especially with my foot not being 100% yet. He's a good husband. His actual birthday is on Tuesday, which is a bit of a bummer, but it'll be fun nonetheless (hopefully).

Yaaaaaawn. Okay, well, that's about where we're at right now. More later.
howeverbrief: (Ink)
I've been having very complicated dreams where I only remember creepy details when I wake up.

Night before last, a dude was looking through my purse and said, "Do you wear perfume? This smells amazing."

Last night, I was playing with a cat who was supposed to be Olive (but it was the wrong color and had long hair like my first cat Squeaky), and when I went to mess with her paw, I pulled her whole leg off. I was really upset about it, but my dad put her in a cage and said we'd take her to the doctor next week. Then he talked about how terrible marriage is.

Ugh.

I went to the eye doctor today, and though I didn't get new glasses (I guess my eyesight hasn't changed too far), he did convince me to get prescription sunglasses. I don't know why, but when I was a kid, I always thought having prescription sunglasses was something entirely uncool adults get. (This doesn't actually make sense because my aunt has them, and she's pretty cool. She was always leaving them at our house, though, and maybe I subconsciously really didn't want to lose something that cost so much.) What's weird is I'm kind of excited about getting them anyway. They're going to be a big help when I'm outside all the time again... hopefully when that happens. Later this year maybe?

Looking at you, club foot.

Mike and I went to Del Taco for dinner, Mike in his lay around the house clothes and me in a professional outfit because the finance committee was meeting in the building today. Mike remarked that everyone probably thought he was unemployed and beat me when I got home. Haha, we're not funny. We both enjoyed the food, but the pop music playing in the background was pretty insufferable. (Especially Taylor Swift singing about how it felt like she was 22. You couldn't pay me to be 22 again. Good god, that's when I made my BEST LIFE DECISIONS.) Having this discussion made me feel old, and I agreed with Mike that we should leave before One Direction's you-don't-know-you're-beautiful-that's-why-I-can-rape-you song ended and we were subjected to something else. Mike also remarked that the music was probably meant to get people out as fast as possible. But hey, you know, I'm an optimist.

I'm guessing it won't surprise you that I'm tired. Walking is tremendously difficult, with my ankle and heel screaming at me whenever I step on my left foot, but I have one more day behind me. Hopefully that means I'm getting better. I'll find out more when I go to physical therapy on Monday (since my mom helped me find a place that will get me in then rather than two weeks from now, score). Maybe I'm weird, but I'm actually kind of looking forward to that too. It'll be nice to get moving again. I say that now, though I keep hearing about how painful everything is going to be. Oh well. We'll see how it goes.
howeverbrief: (Temp)
Last night I dreamed I was having kind of a crappy day at work, so I went outside for an unauthorized break. I rode my bike down the freeway for many miles until I got a phone call from work and figured I should go back before they notice I'm missing. I looked down at my bike and realized that not only was my bike tire damaged, but I was also in Sacramento. With no other way to get home, I started walking my bike around Sacramento. I tried to get on their subway system (?) but ended up in a mall instead. As I was exiting the mall, I dropped the bike accidentally in front of the doors. A man saw and threw it on a pile of donations for the homeless, and I had to fish it out. After that, I made sure to carry the bike on my back. By the time I got home, I remembered I'd forgotten to call work, and it was way too late.

...

Well, it's officially spring. I take it as a good sign that I'm now walking in my dreams instead of being scared that I've forgotten my crutches somewhere. I think the bicycle in the dream comes from getting prepared for physical therapy, which hopefully starts after Wednesday. I'm not quite sure how that's going to work, but I guess there's a long road ahead. As I was balancing without my boot the other day, I kind of rolled onto my bad foot and felt a pop, but it hasn't hurt much more than usual. It's just a nerve-wracking experience for the most part because I really don't want to re-injure it this close to being able to move on to the next phase of rehabilitation.

I guess I also need to contact an ENT. I thought the antibiotics for my sinuses were working, but now I think they're only giving me side effects. The neti pot I'm using helps, but it's not a real solution to the near constant congestion, pressure, mucus and exhaustion. I'm not looking forward to going to yet another doctor, but I'm not sure what else I can do.

I want to go back to bed, but I'm pretty sure that's a bad idea if I want to sleep at all tonight. Blah. Oh well. There's still stuff to look forward to. I'm just feeling lethargic more than anything else.
howeverbrief: (Temp)
I couldn't sleep part of last night because our screen door vibrates and makes terrible noises in high wind (and damn me for not remembering to get that fixed until it's 4:00 in the morning and I can't sleep). So, I went into the guest bedroom and stayed awake for a few hours because the window in there also rattles in the wind.

Anyway, by the time the wind stopped and I slept, I had a dream about the guest room, which was huge. The bed had moved to the middle of the room while I was sleeping, and everything else in the room was pleasantly arranged with junk. I went to move the bed, which was really easy to lift, back against the wall. When I went to move the exercise bike Mike got me for Christmas (and I've gotten to use twice since then), I realized my foot was still broken. I pushed the bike into place on one foot somehow (because I'm really adept at hopping around now, I guess?), and then went to move a collection of magnifying glasses to their place on the mantle (because I now had a fireplace in my guest bedroom).

And yes, around this time, I realized this was a complete fantasy world and woke up again, pretty close to when my alarm was supposed to go off. I guess this is slightly better than the dream I had where an ex came to visit me because he said he couldn't stand being away from me anymore, and I told him I was married to a different ex, which then confused me because I couldn't remember getting married to him. That's... awesome?

Thanks, wind!

Two Dreams

Dec. 16th, 2013 10:03 pm
howeverbrief: (Temp)
A few nights ago, I dreamed I was going to the pharmacy. Once inside, I realized the pharmacy was someone's house, and they had their family over watching Christmas movies. (In particular, they were watching "Griswold's 2", which I'm fairly sure isn't a real movie.) Among the pharmacist's relatives was Riley, Mike's niece, who told me I should watch the movie with them. I went in the back where the pill counter is, and they didn't have my prescription ready, so I ended up having to wait for it while they were baking Christmas cookies.

My subconscious is more into Christmas than I am this year.

The dream I had last night was a bit more disturbing. I dreamed I was watching a movie about a band who was failing. The band members tried all kinds of ways to call attention to their songs so they could raise money for charity to no avail. They remained obscure no matter what they did. Finally, the lead singer climbed onto a roof and threatened to kill himself. A crowd of people joined him on the roof, and as he started singing one of the band's songs, the crowd clapped and sang along because they knew all the words. As the song ended, the crowd began to head for the stairwell to go back to the street, and the singer jumped off the edge of the roof because he knew that's all his life amounted to. All I could see was his shirt disappearing downward as the crowd dispersed and the movie ended.

This is probably semi-inspired by this news story about a man killing himself when his girlfriend refused to quit shopping. It's been making me uncomfortable all week.
howeverbrief: (Winter)
So... more dreams.

I was in some sort of dark, barely lit labyrinth with my mom and siblings. Also traveling with us was a small man with a question mark for a head. We were all trying to find the center of the labyrinth (called "the chapel") so we could get a wish granted. I noticed that the man with a question mark for a head was always selflessly doing things for other people. I pulled him aside and said that he deserved the wish and we should split off from the group and try to find the chapel before the others did.

We found the chapel, which was well-lit with torches, before the others. However, we knew we had to wait until midnight for the doors to open. We sat on the steps leading to the doors to wait. In that time, the rest of my family found the chapel as well and tried to go up the stairs to claim the wish for themselves. I told them not to get any closer because they didn't deserve it. My brother ignored me and climbed the stairs toward me, so I punched him in the balls. He retreated back down the stairs, but my mom and younger sister came up and sat next to me, stole the salad I was carrying for later, and ate it. They also ate some almonds that were sitting around in canisters around the chapel.

I woke up before the clock struck midnight.

Get Clean

Oct. 9th, 2013 08:49 pm
howeverbrief: (Temp)
Since I last spoke of dreams I couldn't remember--

Last night, when I did sleep (and I think right before I woke up for the bazillionth and last time this morning), I dreamed I really needed to take a shower. I went into a large room that had a shower on the back wall behind a banquet table, and I turned on the water. Suddenly, there was a feast planned and lots of people started walking in for dinner. As they were getting food, I found some shampoo and rubbed it in my hair while trying to make conversation with people, all the while aware that the hot water was running out. I finally excused myself, climbed over the banquet table, and tried to discretely slip out of my remaining clothes so I could rinse my hair. The moment I got back to shower, it lost water pressure and heat. Hoping it would come back, I grabbed a bar of soap and started washing as the water dribbled out and everyone in the banquet looked at me showering behind them.

Whatever that means.

I have a lot of thoughts rattling around concerning name changes and marriage lately, but they don't seem to want to cohere at the moment (meaning I don't have the patience to sit down and really make it come together). Hopefully this will jar my memory for later.

Lastly, they finally called Mike back about a potential job, so he's going to go see what it's about on Friday. He has some other interviews lined up still, so I don't know. We'll see what happens.
howeverbrief: (Skull)
Hey, we finagled some pictures out of the photographer (that is to say, she was nice enough to put some up for us even though she's said it's going to take two to three months to sort through and edit our pictures); so maybe we can get our thank you cards out soon. I'm pretty excited about that, probably because once that's done, I can stop thinking about how ungrateful we are... haha.

Not really, but you know. Also when we have all the pictures, I'll post a link so you can see. What I've seen so far has been pretty nice. :)

Did I mention that during the last few months, my wisdom teeth have been growing in?Complain. )

And yes, I'm still irritated about the government shutdown. I just don't have any specific rant about it today.

Also, Mike has been really good about cooking dinner lately even while he's out of work. He's a sweetheart and can be too hard on himself when trying to find a job during the day. I'm pretty sure he's doing everything he can. I just hope something breaks soon for his sake.

Lastly, I had a dream a few nights ago that I was in a library. I got bored in the adult library, so when I found a tiny stairwell, I tried to go down it. It got too tight to continue walking down, so I ended up having to jump to the lower level, which was a children's library. They told me I could become a member and started making my ID with a popsicle mold, a piece of cake or rice crispy treat, a banana, and some other things to give it a face that you wouldn't be able to see until it was unmolded. I didn't get to see it unmolded because I woke up.

I, uh, I have no idea either.
howeverbrief: (Skull)
I had a dream the other night that I was looking at a catalog for Christmas gifts. One of the gifts was a set of painted pickets to put in the yard. There were reindeer, elves and Christmas lights, I think, but the piece de resistance was Santa. For some reason, this Santa had wide rim black glasses over squinty eyes, a green fedora, a scraggly beard, green pants, and a red Christmas sweater that had a Christmas tree in the middle with the words "Trust fund" around it in really skinny font.

That's right. I had a dream about hipster Santa.

Uh... That's all.

Two Things

May. 19th, 2013 10:28 pm
howeverbrief: (Temp)
I don't just sit around and cry all the time. Don't worry.

I had a dream last night that Mike and I were hanging out in an apartment. We weren't doing very much other than sitting on a couch, and I was looking around at the decorations, which included lots of empty dark green jars with silver accents. The phone behind us rang, and when Mike answered, I could hear his family talking on the other end. He put them on speaker phone, and when they asked what we were doing, I made my voice all gravely and pretended to be someone named Richard. This just confused everyone, and his niece asked why I would do something like that.

Uh... yeah, I don't know either.

Also, on Thursday, I was in a really bad mood when I got home. I had stayed late at work, and when I walked in the door, I was greeted by shit on the rug, courtesy of Kiki (who does this way too often because the three litter boxes I have aren't to her liking). I also had to put out the recycling and trash before I could go to bed, so I rushed to get everything out, which involved breaking down boxes I'd been too lazy to do earlier in the week and cleaning out the fridge a little bit before making multiple trips to the curb, all while being really angry. When I was done, I went upstairs to change clothes and found I had lost one of my earrings in the process, which made me even more upset because it was a pair I hadn't worn too much yet. I chalked it up to karma getting me back for not being patient. I looked around where I'd been in my mad rush to clean everything up but couldn't find it in the dark, so I tucked the other earring away and told myself to let it go since it was probably long gone at that point and could have fallen anywhere between work and the million other things I'd done once I got home. I shouldn't be too attached to these things anyway. I know this. Blah, blah, blah.

Well, yesterday when I was much calmer and on my way out the door, I stepped on something in the kitchen, and guess what? I looked down, and there was my earring. I guess someone out there still likes me.

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