howeverbrief: (Winter)
I should post about Thanksgiving (which I still might do), but work has been really draining lately (for reasons I don't feel like rehashing right now). This is what I'm choosing to post about instead.

I dreamed last night that I was at a birthday party for tabular-rasa. I didn't know which room to go to in her very large house, and as I walked into a large room, a few servants closed the doors behind me. I rushed back to the doors when I figured out this wasn't the room where the party was, but they told me they couldn't let me out because of the special guest.

I went to the bar to order a drink and wait to be let out. As I was sitting there, Donald Trump sidled up to the bar, sat next to me and started talking to me. I thought, "Well, I'm attractive enough for him to talk to me but not for him to touch me," and I felt weirdly flattered and disgusted at the same time. I got out of there as quickly as I could.

I finally found the room where the party was, and my mom was there too. Amy was opening presents, and I grabbed one and opened it. I turned back to her and said, "I don't know why I did that. Sorry." I handed the gift to her, which was a large plastic light saber. She took a look at it and noticed that when I opened the present, I broke a connecting wire on the light saber. She started explaining that the connecting wire I broke was used to hook up the light saber to her phone and now it was broken and... In my shame, I didn't want to hear the rest of it. I cut her off and said I was going home with my mom.

We tried to leave through a nearby sliding glass door, but once we were on the deck, I found that half the stairs leading down were gone. We were forced to go back inside, where more of Amy's family/spillover guests from Trump's party were gathering. I tried to get Amy's attention so we could leave another way, but she was pissed at me still and distracted by everyone.

Then my stupid alarm went off.

This is the second time I've dreamed about Trump since the day of the election. At least he didn't chase me this time (but I did win the presidency in that one, so it's a wash).
howeverbrief: (Smile)
Maaaan, if I don't at least try to start this, I'm not sure when I'll get to it.

ICELAND TRIP (Insert fanfare here)!
Read more... )

Whew, this is definitely a work in progress, and I'm a little tired and sore at the moment. I will be back with more hopefully soon.
howeverbrief: (Skull)
It is extremely strange to think it has been 15 years since the world trade center attacks. In some ways, it feels like it was just yesterday.

I remember waking up annoyed around 6:00 in the morning because some idiots were running around in the hallway yelling about something. I chalked that up to dorm living and went back to sleep until it was time to get up for my first class of the morning, which was at 9:00 or 10:00. By the time I was headed to class, the large TV in the lounge area downstairs was playing what I thought was a movie: the first tower on fire; another plane flying into the second. Weird thing to be playing that early in the morning. If I recall right, the person behind the desk was gasping.

I walked to class, Spanish 101, and when I got in, my classmates were talking about upwards of 15 downed planes and about how there were snipers on the roof of the White House. Again, it sounded like a movie. Stuff like that doesn't happen in real life, only in the imaginations of Hollywood shills trying to make the next blockbuster.

Then my teacher, a tiny lady from Mexico who I always remember as being strict but impeccably dressed, came in, visibly shaken. She told us of the attacks; told us to take care of each other; told us there would be no classes today; told us to go home.

I called my mother, who was in a hotel with my father because their anniversary was the day before. I wanted to know she was okay and to hear a friendly voice. Mostly what I remember is her being annoyed with me for calling and saying of course it would all be okay.


But so much has happened in fifteen years. Airport security protocol changes. Bombings. Terrorist groups scattered and re-surged. Mass shootings. Wars. The rise of racist rhetoric. Political division and unrest. The fact that most of these words are plural and each can be written about extensively. I can go into detail about what I remember from a day fifteen years ago, but to sum up everything that has happened since and all of the consequences thereof is infinitely mind-boggling. So much happened and so little remains in my memory of it all that it feels like the butt of time's great practical joke.

My experience is not unique. I did not suffer personally that day, as many did, nor will I claim any great insight from it all. A lot of it still reads as a senseless tragedy, and years worth of reflection and distance has not changed that, only added nuance to the struggle to understand why events like this happen and how we fail to prevent them. All those people dead in a single act, set into motion over the course of years and executed near perfectly by those determined to make themselves heard. Their voices are still reverberating in our bones.

I am only an observer, and a passive one at that. I wonder what it takes to evoke change in this very volatile world, but I am very different from the person who heard of the attacks fifteen years ago and immediately began trying to make sense of it, certain that there would be a way to make sense of it in the coming days. My concerns have shifted in ways I wouldn't have known about then, and I am the only one to blame for my complacency, my cynicism, my helplessness over what happened and what could be done about it. I suppose in the end it is hard to know for sure, as powers greater than the individual are always at play. It is hard to say, but it is much harder to feel like I should have something better to say after all this time. No, the years have gone by in almost a blur, but the uncertainty of those first few hours remains static and undiminished.

A lot happens in fifteen years. Still, in a lot of ways, I am stuck in a single day.
howeverbrief: (Black)
I found out Olive's test results Wednesday. I just haven't gotten myself to write about them because I don't want to get too worked up about it.

Doctor called and said that the medicine Olive is on has reduced her thyroid levels back to normal, which is very good news. The only thing the vet said is she would have expected Olive to gain weight in that time, since hyperthyroid causes cats to lose crazy amounts of weight while the medicine is supposed to reverse that, and Olive basically just maintained her weight. (It went down like .1 of a pound.) Because she hadn't gained weight, the vet worried that something else could be wrong with her that hasn't been tested for yet, like cancer. However, her non-weight gain or loss could just mean she's one of those cats who stabilizes and stays that way. It's hard to know one way or another.

The doctor gave us three options at that point. We could wait a few weeks to see if she gains weight over the next few weeks to rule out other issues. We could do some ultrasounds and x-rays to determine if she has lymphoma, like Kiki had, or any other cancers. Lastly, since we had no other indications that she had other issues, we could proceed with the surgery she needs to fix her teeth, which the vet says are really painful for her, and to remove the benign mass on her leg, which is only going to get bigger.

I chose option number three, and when I ran it past Mike later, he agreed. The vet warned me that if Olive does have underlying cancer, the surgery could kill her, which is very worrisome, but the way I figure it, if it's Olive's time to go, she will go. Otherwise, this is a surgery that she needs, and it does us no favors to delay it just to make sure she doesn't have yet another illness that will take her anyway. At this point, I'd rather not know. I certainly hope she will make it through (and have a good feeling she will given her difficult life before she came to me), but you can never know. Any surgery has the potential for complications, and we're taking an extra roll of the dice because of her advanced age here.

I say all this because I get to drop her off for surgery before work tomorrow and will be on call all day about it, so I'm pretty nervous about how it will go.

Had a nice enough weekend otherwise. I got to either talk to or hang out with the majority of my immediate family (Mom and siblings), and otherwise I've been doing a lot of cleaning or hanging out or nothing of note. Both Mike and I are pretty tired, so that's about all. Woo, I lead an exciting life. Maybe I'll have more to relate another time.
howeverbrief: (Temp)
I took the day off today to take Olive to the vet. It really didn't take that long and I could've easily gone back to work, but at the time I requested it at work, I had no time off in sight and really wanted at least something to look forward to since we were still stuck in codification hell. This was before I asked for the time off to go to Vegas weekend before last, and I must say, it's a little weird to have a random Tuesday off.

Anyway, it's been a nice enough day. I slept in a little bit then got up to exercise to an older DVD I have that took 45 minutes of my day and kicked my ass. I had semi-planned on getting the bloodwork my doctor requested during my appointment last Monday, but I realized pretty quickly after that that I wasn't going to be able to continue fasting and be able to stay upright. I'll have to figure out another time to do that now. Yay, being an adult.

We took Olive to the vet after that, and she was really vocal on the way to the office. Otherwise, there's not much to report. She was there for a recheck on her bloodwork to see if the medication she's on has brought her thyroid under control enough for her to have surgery to remove the mass from her leg (which has grown a little bit but doesn't really concern the vet?) and to fix her teeth. We'll find out the results tomorrow. She hasn't lost weight, though, so hopefully it will work out.

After the appointment, Mike took me to breakfast (pupusas for the win) and then got ready to go because he has yet another food show to do, this time in Livermore woo. He's supposed to have a lot of customers there, though, so he should get a lot of followup business out of it (even though he's semi-drowning in followups from his last show). Hopefully it's not too painful, though.

Other than that, I took a long walk, messed around on the internet, and started a knitting project while watching too much TV, so not a very productive day. Hey, if you're going to ditch work for a vet appointment, might as well. I'll get to the bills tomorrow or something.

Some other recent happenings worth noting:
My brother got a new job! He's been very miserable at his current work since new management took over, and his last day there is this Friday. I found out he is going to do part-time work there to help with the transition while working 40 hours a week at the new gig, though, which I think is way too much given the way they've treated him. He's got to figure that out, though.

On a similar note, my younger sister has a few job interviews this week since her job with the university is not being renewed. Fingers crossed those go well. I wish I could say the same for my older sister, but that's neither here nor there.

We went to a show on Friday evening: Alton Brown Live: Eat Your Science Tour
It was fun! He did three different segments: Food God (on what he would do if he were Food God, like banning children's menus for example), Pick Your Poison (where an unlucky volunteer from the audience got to test Alton's theory on the best cocktails being three ingredients and how to use science to improve the ensuing rum-brandy-pixie sticks cocktail that ensued from the random nature of choosing the ingredients slot machine style), and Popcorn (where another unlucky volunteer helped build a giant working model of popcorn that popped all over her as well as showed off his giant popcorn maker that makes 4 bushels of popcorn at once). He also sang several songs, pronounced Nevada wrong, and was very, very snarky. Haha. It was a good time. My brother also went to the show, so we saw him afterward. He was convinced the volunteers from the audience were plants, but I wasn't so sure, considering how hard Alton was on them. Also, Alton had some saltier jokes and more of an adult edge to him that was different from his "Good Eats" show though the show was overall kid friendly. Very funny.

My in-laws 50th anniversary is this September. Need to figure out what were doing for that. Hmm... It still kind of boggles my mind that they were married the day before my parents were (11 years before that too, but just an odd coincidence). Our anniversary is very close by too, but we had a little bit more say in that: September 7th is ours. September 9th is Mike's parents. September 10th is my parents. September is, of course, a popular month for weddings, but it's still kind of nuts. That's a long time to be married, too.

But uh, I guess I should try to wind down and get ready for bed.
howeverbrief: (Skull)
I had a dream the other night that I lived in an apartment with my former friend Peter. (I say former because he blocked me on facebook a while back over who knows what, and, well, I'm fairly sure I won't see or hang out with him again because he's kind of crazy.) Anyway, while I was at work, someone broke into the apartment and stole a bunch of my things, including all my clothes. Peter said something about how all my things were in the building next door, and I needed to get them out before the thieves came back for them the next day. I went to look at the building and saw my clothes scattered all over the floor covered in broken glass from the large picture window the thieves broke while putting my stuff in the building. Well, I had to go to work again, and the next day, I came home in time to see Eddie Huang (who I can only think was in my head because of this commercial?) taking the rest of my things and disappearing through the door. Meanwhile, Peter had gotten some things replaced, and I had nothing left. My mom showed up for a visit and asked how I was doing. When I said I was exhausted, she said, "Oh, she's not that tired. She's had five days off."

Yeah, uh, whatever. I guess it beats the dream I had Friday night that I was late for work, my shower was outside, and people kept coming in and interrupting me.

Yesterday, Mike and I went to Smith to celebrate my mom's birthday early. We went to the Heyday and had a nice lunch before heading back to their place to set up the fitbit I got Mom for her birthday because her other one broke a few days ago as well as an account so she could get her DNA sample in the mail. (That one was partially selfish because I want to see how her DNA matches up with mine. Heh.) She also gave us some documents about her dad's family tree, and Mike got a copy of my dad's verb book to send to his dad. (My bad. Mike asked me ages ago to do this, and I forgot.) We also spent some time talking before we had to head out.

It was a good time. Afterward, we got some groceries and headed home for a late dinner, and exhaustion set in.

Today wasn't much. We slept in late, went out for breakfast and ran a few errands before he had to go to Livermore. (He got stuck in a traffic jam because of the incoming snowstorm, though, so he's barely made it after hours on the road. Kinda sucks. Barring bad weather, at least he'll be back tomorrow.) I took a walk after he left and then watched a show about Robert Hawkins that was super depressing. (Spoiler alert: He shot up a mall in Omaha in 2007, but his parents did damn near everything to help him before then.) So now I'm trying to dig myself out of that hole before it's time for bed and work and blah.

Let's see. I got a sleep machine from Amazon, and it has been helping my sleep somewhat. I feel like I've slept more deeply the last few nights, but certain things are still waking me up: Mike snoring, his CPAP machine screwing up, and the heat turning on at night being the big three reasons I'm still waking up. It could be that I just haven't figured out the optimum settings for the machine yet, but I'll keep working with it. For its part, it does help me get back to sleep more easily if I'm not worrying about other things, so that's a plus. We'll see.

There's other stuff going on, but it's more personal. I'm not sure if I want to talk about it just yet.
howeverbrief: (Temp)
[Error: unknown template qotd]Uh.... a big 10-4 there, good buddy. My room was filled with stuffed animals as a kid. Because my dad still lives in the house I grew up in, I think the closet still is. When I was really young, I thought they were alive and talked and did stuff when I was out of the room. I also took special pains to not make others jealous when I was spending a lot of time with a particular stuffed animal.

(Toy Story came out when I was 12, if you're curious. That movie's not the reason I felt that way, though I did identify with that movie a lot. Haha.)

I wouldn't say that I had an absolute favorite. Different times in my life, I was obsessed with different toys. For example, when I had hernia surgery in the second grade, I took my bear Nyla with me. (I remember the nurses put a mask on her and gave her "anesthesia" as well.) Another year for Easter I think, I got a white rabbit in a green velveteen suit that I loved. (I really enjoyed The Velveteen Rabbit as a kid, which is probably more accurately the place I got the idea that toys were real. I think I won the book in a contest at school or the library. That was probably around that time.) A different Christmas, my mom had seen me eyeing a bear that was a chimney sweep named Sooty Sam. (I like Mary Poppins, but I'm not sure why I was so obsessed with this bear in particular. I must have really annoyed them with my screeches about "Sooty Sam!" that year.) When I was a little older, my parents brought back a bear that was wearing a shirt collar and tie. I then became obsessed with finding him a wife. (Not sure why. I was never wedding crazy as a kid. I just didn't want my animals to be without friends and mates.)

And along with all this, there were too many cat stuffed animals to count, some of which I even sewed myself. I'm pretty sure there's a row of them still in the closet at my parents' home because I organized things like that. I could probably still tell you all their life stories. Weirdo.

Do I still enjoy them as an adult? Uh... I don't have a guest room filled with them or anything. I don't talk to Mike with my squishible mini t-rex and the other dinosaurs plus various other characters I own an annoying and unhealthy amount of the time. (Wait, I do. Oops.) Not to mention I bought him a police officer puppet named Cyrus who is a filthy, dirty cop on our honeymoon who likes to talk about drugs and whores and who has since had a barely legal (or illegal?) teen puppet in a cheerleading outfit named Megan join him. (Mike generally voices both of them, though he insists my voice for him is creepier.)

Ah, anyway, I probably have more animals than a self-respecting 32-year-old should have, but there you go.
howeverbrief: (Ink)
So... I don't know if I mentioned that I was getting a DNA test through Mike and I sent in our samples around Halloween, and while his isn't fully processed yet, I have results now.

My ethnicity estimate is a-like so:
Great Britain: 59%
Ireland: 33%
Scandinavia: 3%
Europe East: 2%
Asia South: 1%
Caucasus: 1%
Europe West: <1%

To no one's surprise, I am very white. To my surprise, however, there is very little if any German in there and much less Irish than I thought. This is weird to me because my father is entirely Irish, and my mother is half German. (She has family stories from her father, who supposedly was a double spy in WWII because he spoke German, about being related to Austrian or German royalty. She's never been able to confirm if this is true.) My parents are probably more British than both of them know. Haha. The Scandinavian percentage amuses me, though, because my dad had a red beard with dark hair when I was growing up. I was always convinced he had some Viking blood in there. The other stuff? Uh, I don't know. It's weird that all my lineage seems to come from the same general area.

I haven't done much looking into it beyond finding the results interesting. There's a fair amount going on otherwise. We also got a nice card from Mike's niece Riley about her mission. We need to write her back, but we've sent her several emails and a package. Kind of funny how far away we've gotten from actual written communication these days. Sounds like things are going well for her though.

Short week ahead and Thanksgiving, where I'll be making a pie and not doing much else since we're sticking around Reno this year. I got the go-ahead to take a few days off to go to San Francisco with Mike to see his friend Nate who is visiting in the middle of December. The week after that is Christmas. Then we're off to New Mexico for the last week of the year. Lots to look forward to, even if we need to get there first. Usual chores are done even if I managed to hurt my knee again somehow. So it goes.
howeverbrief: (Smile)
I've been having a lot of jacked up dreams lately, most of which I mercifully don't remember. This one, though, I did. Dreams are dumb )

We had a very nice visit in Utah.Farewell Riley )

This week hasn't been too strenuous. I worked for three days then had yesterday off so I could go with Mike to his follow-up appointment for his ankle. His doctor said he could start putting weight on his foot again, but to do so gradually so he can get used to it again after not being on it for eight weeks. He is still using his crutches to get around, but at least he can now put both feet on the ground and move forward. I think that makes things much easier to deal with. After we got home, I finished a blanket I started the week I broke my own foot, so I guess that's kind of fitting. Hopefully going forward won't involve any more broken feet, but we'll see what the future holds.

Other than that, got a new dishwasher today (because I've hated the way ours doesn't clean our dishes for quite a while now) and custom framed Mike's anniversary gift (a printout on cloth of our vows). We also finally got to try Peg's Glorious Ham 'n Eggs, which opened in our town a few weeks ago, and bought some groceries. Pretty successful overall, I think. Mike goes to Livermore tomorrow, and then it's time for another week. So it goes.


Jul. 6th, 2015 10:31 pm
howeverbrief: (Skull)
I had a dream the other night that I woke up and fell going down stairs in slow motion. In a daze, I heard the front door rattling. As I crawled toward it, a strange man broke the lock and started walking through the door. I tried shouting at him to get out and asking why he was there, but my voice was too weak and sleepy. Then I woke up.

I've been sleeping pretty badly. Don't know why. My dad put up the curtain rod in the master bedroom weekend before last, and my mom kindly hemmed the curtains we found online (because no one in this town sells the exact size we need, of course). Apparently, I just get to wake up at 5ish most mornings regardless. Well, if I'm lucky it's only one time a night. Next on the "try" board is reducing the dose of OTC allergy medicine I take, drinking less water before bed, praying to the voodoo gods, sacrificing a goat... Okay, only some of those. Maybe I'll figure out what the heck is going on soon. Probably not.

The 4th of July was pretty nice-- just hung out in Reno with my sister, her friend from work, my brother, my mom and Mike. We ate too much, played Uno early in the afternoon then Cards Against Humanity later while waiting for fireworks. My mom sat at the table and listened during that game, which was awkward at times, especially when one of the answers ended up being "The primal ball-slapping sex your parents are having this second." (I think my sister played that on my brother, which kind of makes it worse. He also didn't appreciate being played the "Motherfucking Sorcerer" card either and refused to read it out loud. Hahaha.) She said something like, "I can see how this game could be fun." Oh, sorry, Mom. Oh well.

Ah, not much else happening. I need to train people again tomorrow, which I'm not looking forward to but will be fairly easy. Past Fiona did most of the work for me already, and I just have to do the talking and explaining part now. Meh.

BUT we just have to make it to Friday. We're leaving for Vermont early Saturday, and that'll be nice. Just have to make it to the other coast and semi-isolated cabin in the woods and yes.

Okay. My stomach is having a full on hatefest at the moment, which has interrupted this post several times already, so I'll stop here for now.
howeverbrief: (Ink)
I had a dream that I was back in college and dating Chris again, only I figured out later I'm married and felt really bad about it. My dream self then decided to debate who was the best out of him, Austin and Mike, and of course, Mike came out on top for several reasons, which made me feel even worse for kissing and having feelings for someone behind his back.

I woke up alone. Of course. Mike's in Livermore.

I realized today that it's been close to if not exactly ten years since I've seen Chris. If I felt like digging, I could figure out the precise day, but it doesn't really matter. As far as I know, he's long gone from here. Not too many months after that, I started up with Austin, and that relationship remains the longest I've ever been in, but not for too much longer. (May of next year will crush that record if you're curious.) Austin lives closer to me, but I haven't seen him in maybe four and a half years? Just after I started working here but before I moved, I think.

I've known Very Pretty for almost fourteen years. (How's that for weird, eh college roommate?) Certain other friends have come and gone in that period. Before her, my longest friendship lasted twelve years before I severed ties. Most of the people I grew up with I either don't talk to or don't know anymore outside of facebook, and that's okay.

Recently, I've been downsizing my friend's list there. I had a strong reaction to seeing pictures of someone I went on one pseudo date with after breaking up with Austin which didn't go anywhere because he had some derogatory things to say about gay people at the end of it. I literally know more about him through his facebook than I do from the time I spent in real life with him, and I decided I didn't care at all about him. Then I looked around and decided I didn't care about a lot of people, and suddenly I was below 120 friends on facebook.

I've probably spent a little too much time thinking about how social contacts used to work. I seem to recall in pre-internet times being able to entirely fall out of touch with someone over the course of your life, to the point where you hardly (if ever) think about them if they didn't mean anything to you. Also, it was a lot harder to look someone up if you ever had a passing whim about them, let alone a search engine at your fingertips begging you to find out, hey, that person lives this sort of life now! Isn't that interesting and not at all ultimately useless? Perhaps this sounds cruel and weird of me, but I've been feeling like that antiquated process would be preferable to the many slow deaths of relationships you experience over social media--people ghosting out of your life instead of reminding you every once in a while what they ate for dinner and how much you've both changed and disagree now. Lives coming together then drifting apart. The same old story told by different players.

I guess I'm mostly tired of caring about people who wouldn't notice if I suddenly disappeared. Yeah, I guess that makes me an asshole.

My dad was here yesterday and looked at one of the paintings I have on my wall. He said it was amazing because my Uncle John painted one almost exactly like it, down to the circles and color scheme. My mom said I was my uncle's niece. I wish I could have gotten to know him as an adult. He's been gone for fourteen years. I miss him.

But here we are, and time is short. It seems to be getting shorter all the time.
howeverbrief: (Ink)
I guess it's hard to explain, the feeling that everyone else is steadily driving down the road, passing telephone pole after telephone pole to some place, any place but here, and you're just standing still hoping that it'll be enough when the time comes to move again. I had a long conversation with myself the other day where I wondered if I was depressed, and I think I figured out that I'm not so much depressed as I don't have enough energy to do much but exist. I asked what I would do if I could do anything at all and not have to worry about money, and I couldn't really think of anything different. I'd write, I suppose. Paint. Try to publish some poetry.

But really, when I think about it, I'd get bored of that after a while and want to go back to work, even if work is a bit too much of my life right now. It's a dream that never goes anywhere. I think the illusion of free time haunts me just because I don't have near enough of it to recharge before I have to kick in the afterburners and run close to on-empty for days at a time. Yeah, I know I don't have it all that bad. It's not for even all that long, and I'm more than halfway through this cycle. I have lots of help, and for the most part, I chose this job and could probably do something else if I really wanted to. Thing is, I get tired of it all too. I get tired of being away from what I care about all the time, feeling like I only accomplish a fraction of what I'd like to and not doing a good job at what I do the vast majority of the time.

I don't know that any of this makes sense, only that it's knocking around in my head. It's Mike and Auntie Moya's birthday today, the day two of my favorite people were born. I didn't do enough for either of them. I talked to Moya, and she mostly said I should be hanging out with Mike. Well, that didn't work too well either. I didn't get home until 6:30, and I've been mostly useless sitting in this chair typing words into the ether. I'm lucky, though. I still get to see them sometimes, and at the end of this, I will hopefully get more time to do what I want. I guess mostly I need to figure out what that is anymore. I seem to have forgotten.
howeverbrief: (Black)
I see the Writer's Block involves vaccination. I rolled my eyes and didn't read the whole thing. My brother and Mike's nephew Alex are both on the autism scale, with my brother leaning more toward what was called Asperger's and Alex leaning more toward very high-functioning autism. I entirely doubt this has anything to do with the fact they were vaccinated, especially given the science that has discredited the initial study that suggested vaccination causes autism. I'm also very glad they both were vaccinated because they are some of the best people I know. They are who they are, autism spectrum or not, and they're also still alive. Autism isn't the enemy, and people shouldn't be scared of it. When it comes to diseases that have been already cured for many years, I'm always going to argue for the cure. I've tried to see the other side's point of view, and I just can't. I think it is dangerous and misinformed at best. If this makes me hypocritical about this particular issue, I don't care.

Last weekend was Valentine's day and our three-year anniversary of the day we met. (It seems both longer and shorter than that somehow.) Mike made dinner on Valentine's day, and we had lunch with my parents on our anniversary so we could spend the evening together as well. It was nice that we had the whole weekend off, even if I had to use some of it to do general maintenance, which is what happens when you don't have too many days off in a row-- stuff like get haircuts and clean house and try to recharge while also spend time with people you don't get to see otherwise. It's a bit hard to manage to be honest, but it works, I guess.

More on Valentine's day: Mike got me this dude (Steggy) because I'm weird and obsessed with dinosaurs lately. Also, heh, something sexy. I got him AIDS and a Jesse, also because I'm weird. (AIDS is forever!) Mike made Oysters Rockefeller and tried and failed to make pizza (frozen and thawed pizza dough is the devil), and I made raspberry claufoutis which turned out pretty tasty (even though Mike still cooks way more than I do).

More on the 15th: Mom is doing pretty well. Her grip is coming back, and since she doesn't have a cast and doesn't have to wear a sling, it's not readily apparent she broke her arm. We had a very nice lunch at Tahoe Ridge Winery (a local winery in Minden that is opening a branch very close to our house soon), and afterward, it was fun to do a little infused olive oil tasting (they have a lot of different olive and balsamic oils). Mike ended up getting basil oil and cinnamon pear balsamic for other cooking adventures. After running more errands, we had dinner and watched Punch Drunk Love because our TV was still broken.

Hmm, what else happened this week? Right, a technician came out and fixed the TV. From what Mike said, the screen and motherboard had to be replaced entirely, and when I came home on Tuesday, the screen stayed on for more than five minutes! Just subtract from that the fact that the colors still get inverted from time to time. Ugh. We're pretty sure that the HD cables are to blame now, but if we replace those and are still having problems, we're going to have a serious talk with Directv, mostly because this has been going on for far too long and we have a bit of a background noise addiction that has been highlighted in recent weeks.

However, we encountered a new problem Wednesday that needed a more immediate fix this weekend. I had noticed that our queen-sized bed, which I've had since I was about 14, has been very squeaky lately. The baseboard has been separating from the sideboard, and I've been pushing them back together in the hopes that they won't break.

You know where I'm going with this.

Mike hopped on the bed Wednesday night, and I noticed that the joint was separated more than usual. I made him get off the bed to check out the situation and see if I could strengthen it somehow, but Mike hopped on it again, and the screws gave and tore right out of the wood, banging that corner of the bed onto the floor. I panicked and called my mom, thinking she might have an idea on how to fix it but to no avail. It's done. We dismantled it, put the pieces in the guest room, and have been sleeping on the mattress on the floor since. We're going to try to find a way to donate the headboard and baseboard somewhere, but we have no way to make it work for us again.

That did give us a chance to upgrade to a king bed with a new mattress yesterday, though. ;) The actual buying of the bed and mattress process wasn't as painful as I thought it would be, but trying to find a comforter set proved to be much more complicated than I thought, maybe because I thought Mike wouldn't care at all but surprised me by giving me lots of input and searching several stores then the internet with me until we found what would work.

What's funny about that is he actually just ordered the set we're going to use as I was typing this, so that's a bit of a ridiculous two-day process over what's basically a blanket and pillows. It's pretty though.

Poor Mike. Sorry you've been stuck in domestic hell lately. We ought to be set up by next Saturday hopefully.

Other than that, Mike's in Livermore for the monthly sales meeting. I worked two hours today. This is mostly babbling without a point. The cat is snoring behind me, and my feet are freezing. So it goes.
howeverbrief: (Smile)
Things I've learned in the past year:

Breaking stuff can happen really quickly, even if you're healthy and have never broken anything like it before.

Stairs are terrifying.

Handicap services are totally helpful when you need them.

Muscle mass is easy to lose and much harder to get back.

You can lose joints in your foot via surgery just so you can walk sometime again.

I used to walk really fast.

People notice a lot more than I give them credit for.

It's possible to have an infection for a long time without realizing what it is.

You can breathe without feeling constantly congested. It just might take surgery.

Also, a carryover from last year: Don't blow your nose after you get your wisdom teeth out. You could cause yourself a rare problem that messes up half your year.

My mother and new family members are very supportive.

Marriage is different than I thought it would be. It's much harder but also more fulfilling in ways I didn't know existed.

I married a decent man.

I have forgotten what it's like to live alone. I'm okay with that.

Sometimes, even though it seems like a diagnosis fits, your cat is just a jerk.

Even if you've been through something multiple times, you can feel totally unprepared for what's ahead.

I thought I had more to say, but I'm going to leave it there. Happy 2015.
howeverbrief: (Temp)
Oh, right. I still have a livejournal. Sorry, guys.

Let's see... This is the first day I've "stayed home" since December 13th. (Stayed home is in quotation marks because I still left the house to get a haircut and groceries. Fail.) I worked 10 and a half days in a row to get through our first session deadline, stopped to spend half of Christmas eve here with Mike, then spent the last three days in Reno because that's where the rest of my family spent Christmas. Mom tried to tell me to stay home yesterday if I was still tired from the extra 48 hours I put on my last timecard; but I don't know when I'm going to see everyone again because of session monopolizing the next six months (at least); so of course I made the trip yesterday as well even though I wish I had another day to myself before I have to go back to work. Oh well. On top of all that, Mike left for Albuquerque to visit his parents and brother the day after Christmas and won't be back until Tueday. (I didn't go because he booked the tickets back when they were cheap and I had no idea if I'd get the days off. Wish I could have, but hopefully there will be better and less expensive chances to visit in the future.)

Ah, but I had a nice Christmas with everyone I got to see, and I really only have to work two and a half days before I get some more time off since management let us take as much time as we wanted between Christmas eve and January 2nd to reward us for getting through the deadline, so I'm looking forward to that, especially the actual staying home part.

I'd say more; but I have a massive headache; and I ought to stop complaining. Life's not so bad. Just a little rough at the moment. Hope you're all doing well.
howeverbrief: (Smile)
Dumb poetry time:

Fie, wretched woman
At thee, I bite my thumb,
who spoke of toothsome treasure, then ate
said ambrosial wonder, leaving her mate
the tenderest of crumb

(Translation? My mom came to visit me on my break and gave me a slice of homemade banana bread. I told Mike about it via text message then proceeded to eat it before I even got home even though he very sweetly brought home pie from work. Haha, I'm the biggest jerk.

EDIT: He said the joke's on me because he already ate some pie. LOLz. I'm still the worst.)

Unrelated, I got this CD in the mail, and this song mostly sums up my train of thought lately.

I'm still in the shouting at my TV (and internet) stage, though. Keep fighting the good fight, friends.

To Do

Oct. 10th, 2014 09:06 pm
howeverbrief: (Temp)
Oh man, I feel like I'm really behind. Did I mention we went to Texas last weekend? I might have. I don't remember. I still need to update about that, hopefully soon and around the same time I get to posting pictures which also hasn't happened yet.

I think the big problem is Mike and I haven't just stayed home on a weekend in about a month, and we only stayed home three weekends ago because it was right after special session. Before then, we were celebrating our anniversary. After that, my sister visited. After that, Mike's parents visited. Then last weekend was Texas, and now I'm tired, full of food, and my legs hurt. What else is new?

I'd like to get back to this, though. I'll try again tomorrow.
howeverbrief: (Temp)
I've been very bad at keeping up with this thing. Oh well. A little at a time, I guess. I've been in overdrive lately, besides still being exhausted and feeling like I still haven't quite caught up from special session two weeks ago.

What was nice about the week after session ended is I already had Tuesday and Wednesday off because I scheduled it months ago so I could get x-rays one day and see my foot doctor the next. That appointment went very well. He said that I was pretty much healed (besides my osteopenia, which should keep going away) and that I should continue to get better and better. Because my mom has been to all of these appointments, she was there to ask if physical therapy was necessary anymore. The doctor said if I felt I wasn't making progress, I could quit; so I called them later that day and cancelled the rest of my appointments. I've been pretty frustrated with it for a while, so even though I still have work to do, this is a good thing. I've been trying to keep up with the exercises I was doing there and walking a ton because of fitbit and the walking challenge, so I think I'll get there eventually even if my foot still hurts most of the time.

We also got some new furniture delivered, which I think has helped us out in terms of organizing our house, but that's definitely an ongoing project considering we're experiencing some storage issues recently. Oh well. I will figure that one out soon I hope.

This week, work has been fairly slow, which has been very strange. It feels weird to go from deadlines and craziness to little to nothing being important. It's a bit of whiplash, really. Still, I know it won't be long before we're in ridiculous mode again, so I'm okay with this for now. I need a little bit of time to prepare for the new hires (not sure when they'll come, but I get to train them, so goody), and there's plenty still to do that doesn't involve session. I just hope we get it all done before it gets crazy again. Yikes.

On Thursday, Mike's parents came into town. They started a road trip that will take them from their home in New Mexico through Vegas and Carson City, up through the Boise and Pocatello area, down to Salt Lake and then back home, all in a few weeks. On this leg, they stopped here for the weekend to stay with us, and I think it went pretty well. Mike made New Mexican lasagne for dinner on Thursday and showed them around Reno and Tahoe Friday because I had to work. Yesterday, my parents came up to have brunch with all of us at Adele's (which I'm happy to report they liked, since that's apparently very hard to do), and we found a jacket for Mike's dad because he forgot to pack one. Other than that, we kind of hung around, had El Pollo Loco for dinner, then played Trivial Pursuit. They left early this morning, and I believe I heard they've already made it to Idaho. Phew! Sounds a bit grueling, but they're making good time.

Otherwise, today has been pretty lazy. I walked this morning. Mike and I went grocery shopping for our short week here. I am in the midst of laundry. The floors got semi-vacuumed before I ran out of motivation. Mike had to go to Livermore this afternoon for his monthly sales meeting, but he'll be back tomorrow. Also, hey, it's sunny after a few days of rain, so that's pretty pleasant. I think we're mostly looking forward to our trip to Texas later in the week. We leave on Thursday and are staying with Mike's friend Vanessa and her family. We also get to see a lot of his college friends (we're going to a fifth anniversary party of one of his friends because he didn't get to go to the wedding) and do some touristy stuff since I've never been outside the airport in Texas. Should be fun. Hopefully all goes well.

The only thing I'm slightly concerned about is Kiki. Last night I noticed a sore spot on her left front leg where it looks like she has worn away her fur and started gnawing away at her skin. :( This happened once before after she had the abscess drained from her back, which makes me wonder if maybe she's having some health or anxiety problems since there have been more people in the house the last few days, but I don't know. I'm keeping an eye on it and will go to the vet if it gets any worse, but any other suggestions as to why might be helpful.

Anyway, I kind of want to go veg some more, so that's it for now. Hopefully I can keep this up a little better in the coming weeks. Given my track record, I have no idea how long that hope will last. Oh well. It is what it is.

EDIT: Somehow I forgot to mention that my older sister Katie visited last weekend so she could get a new car, and my brother ended up getting a new one too. Sheesh. Way too much is going on recently. Calm would be nice. Maybe in a few more weeks, haha.


Sep. 23rd, 2014 09:29 pm
howeverbrief: (Ink)
I uh, hmmm. How do I start this up again? I don't know. I don't want to quit entirely. I just have trouble finding time that isn't consumed by tired lately, as lame as that excuse is. I shouldn't be this tired. It shouldn't be this ridiculously easy to give up. Or, I guess, that is the easiest way. Fighting for something takes way more energy than doing nothing at all, even if it's standing in something's way.

I had a conversation with my mother last week where I mentioned an old friend I no longer talk to. I looked her up once and saw she works as a tutor at a local college and won some sort of writing contest. I said I was glad I didn't have that kind of life. My mom said something about growing out of it, and I felt a bit offended. I don't think that's really the case. I haven't grown out of wanting to write. Life has gotten in the way of my weird pretentious belief that I'd somehow write the great American novel and say something monumentally important in the grand scheme of things.

I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing.

Ah, what am I even saying anyway? I hope I haven't "grown out" of writing, as if that's something to mature and move past. I hope that's not what the natural progression of my life is. I have little to no motivation to carry on my delusions of grandeur, but that doesn't mean I have to stop completely, does it? Even if it's nothing to everyone else, I'd like to believe that it still carries a great weight in my own life, some significant magnitude which nevertheless cannot be measured. I suppose that still remains to be seen. Per usual. Ad infinitum.

Of course it does. What else would this be otherwise?
howeverbrief: (Temp)
So... I believe when I posted last, I mentioned we were going to California for the weekend. That went pretty well. It was nice to see my sister, her partner and my aunts, though we arrived pretty late both nights and I think irritated both of them. Oops. I guess I should have planned that better. Saturday, we got to hang out at the beach then go to Thai food with my aunts, and Sunday, we hung out at a park eating massive sandwiches before heading to the Haight for a little shopping with the Katies. It was hard to leave, knowing I wouldn't see them again until probably after session is over, but that's life.

Mike had to go to Livermore to prepare for his meeting early Monday, so we left Sunday night and stayed in a hotel. I took him to work early, went back to the hotel to sleep, exercise and eat, then left at checkout time at noon. After driving around for a bit because I had no idea how to get around Livermore, I was able to use our GPS to go to some high-end outlet stores and find a suit and purse for work. Pretty sweet. After Mike's meeting was over, we drove to Roseville, had massive cheeseburgers and stayed the night at another hotel because it was already pretty late. We got back home Tuesday, and we've been playing a bit of catch-up since then.

Today was also fairly productive. Mike won a TV through a work promotion (which turned into a $500 gift card somehow), and we were able to look at TVs and set up an appointment for installation for the one we bought. After we got home from the farmer's market (also fun, nice to get some local produce) and grocery store, I enlisted Mike's help in moving around the furniture in the living room, and the arrangement is a lot more useful for us. When I moved in, I had just the chair I sit in constantly and the couch, which seemed to make more sense in the middle of the room since I was the only one who had to deal with it. With Mike adding a chair to the mix, we've had a less efficient use of space for two people. We basically switched the chairs with the couch, and it allows us both to see the TV a little more clearly as well as share an end table. It's nice to change it up, and with the additions of the shelves and rug upstairs, the house feels a lot more functional lately. It's pretty nice.

There's other less pleasant stuff going on right now, but hopefully life will work itself out soon.


howeverbrief: (Default)

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