howeverbrief: (Ink)
I had a dream that I was back in college and dating Chris again, only I figured out later I'm married and felt really bad about it. My dream self then decided to debate who was the best out of him, Austin and Mike, and of course, Mike came out on top for several reasons, which made me feel even worse for kissing and having feelings for someone behind his back.

I woke up alone. Of course. Mike's in Livermore.

I realized today that it's been close to if not exactly ten years since I've seen Chris. If I felt like digging, I could figure out the precise day, but it doesn't really matter. As far as I know, he's long gone from here. Not too many months after that, I started up with Austin, and that relationship remains the longest I've ever been in, but not for too much longer. (May of next year will crush that record if you're curious.) Austin lives closer to me, but I haven't seen him in maybe four and a half years? Just after I started working here but before I moved, I think.

I've known Very Pretty for almost fourteen years. (How's that for weird, eh college roommate?) Certain other friends have come and gone in that period. Before her, my longest friendship lasted twelve years before I severed ties. Most of the people I grew up with I either don't talk to or don't know anymore outside of facebook, and that's okay.

Recently, I've been downsizing my friend's list there. I had a strong reaction to seeing pictures of someone I went on one pseudo date with after breaking up with Austin which didn't go anywhere because he had some derogatory things to say about gay people at the end of it. I literally know more about him through his facebook than I do from the time I spent in real life with him, and I decided I didn't care at all about him. Then I looked around and decided I didn't care about a lot of people, and suddenly I was below 120 friends on facebook.

I've probably spent a little too much time thinking about how social contacts used to work. I seem to recall in pre-internet times being able to entirely fall out of touch with someone over the course of your life, to the point where you hardly (if ever) think about them if they didn't mean anything to you. Also, it was a lot harder to look someone up if you ever had a passing whim about them, let alone a search engine at your fingertips begging you to find out, hey, that person lives this sort of life now! Isn't that interesting and not at all ultimately useless? Perhaps this sounds cruel and weird of me, but I've been feeling like that antiquated process would be preferable to the many slow deaths of relationships you experience over social media--people ghosting out of your life instead of reminding you every once in a while what they ate for dinner and how much you've both changed and disagree now. Lives coming together then drifting apart. The same old story told by different players.

I guess I'm mostly tired of caring about people who wouldn't notice if I suddenly disappeared. Yeah, I guess that makes me an asshole.

My dad was here yesterday and looked at one of the paintings I have on my wall. He said it was amazing because my Uncle John painted one almost exactly like it, down to the circles and color scheme. My mom said I was my uncle's niece. I wish I could have gotten to know him as an adult. He's been gone for fourteen years. I miss him.

But here we are, and time is short. It seems to be getting shorter all the time.

Hello, July

Jul. 5th, 2014 01:18 pm
howeverbrief: (Temp)
We had a fun couple of days with the Nelsons (my sister-in-law and her family) in and around the 4th of July. We spent some time in Tahoe (when she wasn't sick, poor thing), ate some nice meals together and took a nice catamaran ride to see fireworks on the 3rd. We also hung out, played games and had barbeque with my mom, brother and younger sister in Reno yesterday for the holiday proper. It was all very nice and fun. There are some pictures of the catamaran ride on facebook if you're interested, though I didn't get any from yesterday. Mike is on Instagram too. He tends to take a lot more pictures than I do these days.

Hope you all had a great holiday if you celebrate! :) As you might be able to tell from my lack of description, I am currently in "super-drained-because-I'm-an-introvert" mode and hardly want to do anything now. Wish there was an easier way to combat that besides spending time not interacting for a while. I think today's probably going to be pretty unproductive. Woo.


Nov. 17th, 2013 09:44 pm
howeverbrief: (Black)
Today, I got my hair cut for the first time as a married woman. You know, only three months later. That's kind of ridiculous.

Unrelated, but also appropriate, our photographer finished editing our wedding pictures. <3

If you didn't catch our link on facebook, the site is here.

Also, Mike starts his new job tomorrow, so lots of things are coming together. :)
howeverbrief: (Black)
Despite my recent bout with allergies (where I keep semi-jokingly requesting Mike kill me, which he won't oblige for some reason), I am really enjoying having weekends back. I don't think I realized just how much I missed them until we started settling back into them again. It's very different having another person around all the time as well. It's much nicer to have Mike here rather than having to figure out a time to call or skype or whatever with our various schedules. I know it won't always be like this (especially if Mike finds a job where he works on weekends), but I like being able to plan dinner and mess around and have time to figure things out.

Speaking of not working weekends, the job Mike started on Friday with the sunroom people didn't quite work out. He went there Friday, and his potential boss had him sit in on a conference call, of which Mike had no idea about and didn't understand much of. On top of that, the guy was kind of rude, and Mike found him untrustworthy, which I can totally understand. Good enough explanation for me. Besides, he would have been working really late nights as well as on Saturdays, and I'm hoping we can avoid that if possible. Hopefully he finds something else that's a much better fit. He has another interview set up for a job he actually wants, so fingers crossed.

We finally started thank you cards as well. Mike was able to get wallet-sized pictures printed of the few pictures the photographer sent us, so we're looking forward to getting all of those out. It's nice to be able to include pictures with the thank you cards since we weren't able to with the invitations given the tight time frame we had. I'm happy about that.

We didn't get much else done today, but I made slow cooker chili. It was pretty good. Today was pretty good. I'm not sure what else there is to say at the moment.


howeverbrief: (Default)

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