Gnats

I have gotten really good at catching gnats with my bare hands. They are always buzzing around my house and office. I don't know where they're coming from, but I hate them.

I am 70.5% ish done with my current freelance project. It's easy to figure out percentages when you're working with 100 pages. Ha.

Lately, I've been hearing about a lot of studies that predict my early demise. Taller women more prone to health problems. Dark-hair, light skin, European background more prone to skin cancer. Blue eyes are genetically weaker. Single people who live alone live ten years less than married couples. If you take all that into consideration (correlation not equaling causation and statistics in general be damned), it's a wonder I've made it this far at all.

I wonder if there is a heaven. If there is, will it be made of the moments we cherish in the most illusive of ways, the ones we cling to closest with the hope we'll be able to return to bask in them when living seem impossibly difficult? Or will it be a vast landscape of new experiences, each more beautiful than the last and what we could ever hope to achieve in this existence and eclipsing any and all memories that came before them?

One never knows. I'm not sure why I wonder about it in the first place, really.

I have so many dreams these days that I can't remember. I keep waking up in the same bed every morning wondering if it will always be this way. No, no. Of course not. Why would things ever stay the same?

But there are some things I shouldn't say and am not saying, and this is my way of saying that without really getting into what I mean. I get the feeling that's cheating, probably because it doesn't do much in the long run but short-circuit conversation into silence.

So I will stop for now and go ponder why I never seem to go to bed on time. Exhibit 1, right here.