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Nowhere Left to Go
Sep. 19th, 2010 03:23 pmYeah, I know. Relationships!
Kind of amused by this article: Six Tricky Relationship Talks You Must Have
There is a lot of things I could say here, mostly about past miscommunications and such, but it doesn't matter now. I only bring it up because it reminds me of problems that might not have been so terrible if we were able to understand where the other was coming from. Then again, that applies to a lot of different scenarios yet never seems to go anywhere.
While walking this morning, I realized a lot of the bad feelings I have about what happened stems from disappointment over not getting what I wanted out of the situation. Sure, the other person in this equation was out of my control, but that didn't stop me from wanting what I wanted and trying to get it despite the obvious signs that the exact opposite would happen. Even when I didn't get what I wanted, I somehow convinced myself it would happen if I was patient. How silly. He was looking out for himself and what he wanted, and I couldn't expect him to look out for my needs too. I mean, I understand that the task of taking care of myself has to fall to me because no one else is going to (or should have to) look out for me, but I tend to overlook that occasionally in order to keep the peace. Every action has its consequences, I guess.
I still wonder from time to time if I could have done anything to make it work, but the more distance I get, the less likely it seems. These days, loneliness doesn't seem like that bad of an option, even if it's not how I thought it would be. I'm not going to pretend it's been easy getting to this point, but I'm hoping the challenges I'll face in the future won't be as focused on past mistakes and wounds so much as opportunities to make things better. I'm sitting around waiting to hear if my life is going to change, though I guess that's a bit of a misnomer. Either way the wind blows, I'll have to deal with it and make life-altering decisions, but I'm still hoping things go the way I want them to. It would be really cool to have some good news that jives with what I want. Even though I've been tremendously lucky in other areas overall, it's been a while since that happened.
Anyway, aside from all that, I hope you're all having a happy weekend. Fall is coming. Are you ready?
Kind of amused by this article: Six Tricky Relationship Talks You Must Have
There is a lot of things I could say here, mostly about past miscommunications and such, but it doesn't matter now. I only bring it up because it reminds me of problems that might not have been so terrible if we were able to understand where the other was coming from. Then again, that applies to a lot of different scenarios yet never seems to go anywhere.
While walking this morning, I realized a lot of the bad feelings I have about what happened stems from disappointment over not getting what I wanted out of the situation. Sure, the other person in this equation was out of my control, but that didn't stop me from wanting what I wanted and trying to get it despite the obvious signs that the exact opposite would happen. Even when I didn't get what I wanted, I somehow convinced myself it would happen if I was patient. How silly. He was looking out for himself and what he wanted, and I couldn't expect him to look out for my needs too. I mean, I understand that the task of taking care of myself has to fall to me because no one else is going to (or should have to) look out for me, but I tend to overlook that occasionally in order to keep the peace. Every action has its consequences, I guess.
I still wonder from time to time if I could have done anything to make it work, but the more distance I get, the less likely it seems. These days, loneliness doesn't seem like that bad of an option, even if it's not how I thought it would be. I'm not going to pretend it's been easy getting to this point, but I'm hoping the challenges I'll face in the future won't be as focused on past mistakes and wounds so much as opportunities to make things better. I'm sitting around waiting to hear if my life is going to change, though I guess that's a bit of a misnomer. Either way the wind blows, I'll have to deal with it and make life-altering decisions, but I'm still hoping things go the way I want them to. It would be really cool to have some good news that jives with what I want. Even though I've been tremendously lucky in other areas overall, it's been a while since that happened.
Anyway, aside from all that, I hope you're all having a happy weekend. Fall is coming. Are you ready?
